Wednesday, January 13, 2010


Last night. Beginning with an awkward group. Moving on to talking about pranks. Ending with worship.
There is nothing more beautiful than this.
How are we, as human beings, loved by God? I am still unable to understand. I never will, because God is God.
Sitting there, I became overwhelmed with desire. Desire for the exact thing we were doing in that moment. How many times at church, am I able to worship without worrying about judgment from others? How many times am I moved to tears by the songs being played? How many times do the people in the church say, "This is what's weighing on my heart. Pray for me." "I am broken. Pray for me."
At church, I am unable to be a 15-year-old, and be treated the same by twenty-somethings. I am unable to share my heart, with people at the church. I feel as if at church, in a church building, there is no depth.
What if this is exactly what God wanted for us? What if He simply wanted us to gather, so we are able to grow? Yes, we have all stumbled. Yes, we have all been picked up. But I am unable to tell you someone who I know better than these people. Even people I have known for years.
The best part about this, is we are HUGE. We are not just a set group of people. People come and go, and we love them the same. Because God is in this. We are not a "group". We are not a "clique". Yes, some are closer than others, but that will happen in any amount of people you get together. Like I said, people come, people go. And God is in this.
The worship that happened in that room caused a commotion in Heaven. Each one of us were worshipping with everything we had. God was in that room, and he had nothing to do but smile.
I've never had honest people in my life. It's always been a face they put on so other people can't see through them. My heart does not belong to people, it belongs to God. In order for me to grow, I need to be around people who understand that this is what is supposed to happen, and supposed to be. God wants us to be together. Worship together. Ask hard questions together.
Last night, we were able to talk about things weighing on our hearts. There is nothing more beautiful to me than this.
We did not bring ourselves together-He did.


Suzy-Q said...

I believe this is why we have lifegroups, small groups outside of a church setting so that things like this can happen. :o)Church is to learn more about the Bible. To make you desire more. To get your mind thinking. Its to wet your appetite, making you want more.
Its hard to be in church and let go. When you are with a smaller group that gets to know you, these people become your support, your accountability. They can put you on the spot, ask you the tough questions.
I am grateful that you have all of them for that very reason. Just don't forget that God has a purpose for you at our church too. I love you Mel!

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