Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Rock The Boat

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort." 2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (ESV)

This morning, I got an e-mail from a friend saying she was hurting. She has turned to binging instead of cutting, so as to "not let them down like that". I didn't know what to say. How am I to help her? I am so lost in my own life, how am I able to help her?
I have been in the same boat she is in, but at the time, I wouldn't have listened to anyone. Nothing anyone said could stop the reality that I was hurting, and no one could do anything about it. She knows God, She knows His love, but to what extent?
I settled for a simple answer, "I know nothing I say will change your mind, or help you out. But I do love you, and I mean it with all my heart."
I feel like I have failed. Why did I not jump on that opportunity to share God? Sure, she understands Him, and has made a lot of changes. But I don't think she sees the unfailing, unrelenting, forgiving love that He has for her. Why did I not whip out my Bible and seize the opportunity to show her His exact words, His exact love? I don't know.
I took some time, and found the Bible verses above. I'm still looking into it, still trying to find the exact meaning of it. But I know that there is hope.
I know that the more I read, the more I know about my God and Father, the more I will be able to comfort her. The better I will be at seizing opportunities to share of God, share of his comfort. I, myself, have never been a deep Bible reader. But I see that that is starting to change. At least 30 minutes a day, indulging into my Jesus. Making myself better, so that when people look at me, they do not see me, but they see the love of God.
I'm going to do everything in my power to know Him. To know the good sides of God, when He loves and forgives. I will know the bad sides of God, when He has had enough of the sin and torture people are putting themselves through. I want to know the sad side of Jesus, in the days before his crucifixion. I want to know the miracles he performed, showing people Him. I want to know the deepest parts of my God, because He is the only thing that is constant. He is the only one who will forgive me--endlessly.
My life has taken so many twists and turns. I am ready to rock the boat, and show everyone the love of my best friend, my Father, my love, my God.

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