God's Reasons, Not My Own

What does missioning mean to me?
Awhile ago, it was brought to my attention that I strongly dislike local missions. I have no idea where that comes from, but I just don't like doing it.
Last night, Stephanie asked me the question,
What does missioning mean to you?
We had been talking about Honduras, and how I'm so excited because this is just the beginning, and I'm meant to mission.
But I don't even know what a mission means to me.
Steph says to me, "I see you're really caught up in doing good. Yes, there's servanthood in that. But you can't get too caught up in that. 'Doing good' is not going to change the fact that there are orpans who have no home, and no food. 'Doing good' is not going to change the fact that these people are suffering. Yes, it may help them. But just because you're painting an orphan's bedroom in an orphanage, doesn't change that they don't have parents.
There's an thin line between letting 'doing good' control you, and 'doing good' when that is needed."

So, I sat down and thought about it.
What does missioning mean to me?

To me-it's not only the doing good. It's not just the fact that I can help these people even in small tiny ways. But it's just the fact that I get to shine the light for God. He has allowed me to be that person to plant a seed, and He can make that grow overtime.
My thought is unfinished. My mind is still looking through all it's pages, trying to find the reason I want to mission. Because I don't want to go for the wrong reason. I don't want to go, just because I feel like it. Or just because I want to travel. Or just because I can.
I want to go because I feel God leading me there, and because I am supposed to go there.
I want to go for God's reasons, not for mine.
So whatever those reasons may be, I'll find them. And I will pursue them.

Sorry, this thought isn't really finished quite yet.