Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Only The Beginning

Barry, this Sunday, told a story of a girl he met while in Africa. He saw her again at a mission's conference a while later. He asked about Tanzania (where she was when he met her) and how long she was in the states. She answered, "Oh, I'm going back soon. I can't stay here. God wants me there. Tanzania is my home."
My breath caught, and my heart skipped a beat. HOME. Her HOME was a third world country. Missioning, serving. And that caused something to stir inside of me. My hands got a little sweaty, and my throat closed up. I took this as God wooing me, romancing me, pulling me closer, inch by inch, to His heart, where everlasting love lies.
I am not meant to stay here.
Yes, this is a time of rest. But this is also a time of preparation. I do not know where I will go, why I will go, how I will go, but I know in my heart that I am meant to go.
This Summer, I will be going to Honduras. I will spend a week in South America. I have never been on an airplane. I have never been out of the country. But I know, this is just the beginning.
I am prepared. No, I am not completely there. I never will be, I will always have learning to do. I know I'm going to get there and have my mind BLOWN by how much I thought I knew. I am not expecting it to be easy. I am not expecting anything. I am not expecting to go, and be carefree, having fun, and not once get my hands dirty. I KNOW my heart will fight with me over many things.
But like I said, this is only the beginning.
I will be going on an airplane. I will have no contact with my family, or any loved ones. I am afraid of forgetting something. Afraid of being unprepared. Afraid of SO many things.
But this is not about me.
Oh, how God is continually proving this to me. He is everything. He is my reason, my joy, my all. He is my source of life, without Him I am dead. So, I am absolutely giving it to Him, and His plans.
Someday, I will go.
And like I said, this is only the beginning.


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