Saturday, February 20, 2010

Everyday Your Life Will Never Be The Same


Sometimes I forget where I'm at. Not literally. But in my life- I forget where I'm going, forget what I'm living for...I just...forget.
But this week, my eyes have been opened to who God is. Who God is to me. Who I am to God. And I cannot tell you the shaking in my fingers as this began to unfold.
Yesterday, was Alyssa and Chad's wedding ceremony. I've been planning on taking the pictures for a long time now, but the day had finally come. The night before, I tossed and turned. When I woke up, it felt like I couldn't breath.
My first reaction-quiet time. I pulled out my journal.
"God-you are king of all kings, Lord of all lords. I am not coming before you to ask for anything. I only long to praise you. You are my lover, the owner of my heart. You are the only thing I need. This world has nothing for me. You are what makes my heart pitter patter. You are what allows me to wake up every morning to more and more beauty. I am nothing without you. Today is a huge opportunity for me. A HUGE opportunity. I cannot thank you enough. I awe of you, and what you are doing for me. I long for you today, God. Give me your eyes to see, Father. You are all I need. p.s. Thank you for the perfect clouds."
I put down my journal, feeling a lot more relaxed. I went and did my hair, and shot some photos of Steph doing Alyssa's hair.
We headed over for the church, when I realized I was almost finished with the 16 gig card. I went to grab my other cards and realized-I left them at home.
Nikki and I drove all the way back to the house (driving the speed limit, because we were already being illegal enough), grabbed the cards and a mirror, and headed back.
Got to the church, filled up the 16 with Alyssa getting ready. Changed to the 8, and only got 68 pictures out of it. I was starting to freak out a little-only 8 gigs left for the WHOLE ceremony and afterwards.
Thanks to Chris, we got the 16 unloading onto the computer, and I did what I could and shot with the two 4s. I had two pictures left on my card when Barry said, "You may now kiss the bride." I got four out of it.
We took a few pictures afterwards, and headed into the kitchen to see what I had got. I took a deep breath, and it seemed like seconds later, we were on the road to take more pictures.
We went downtown, and took some pictures by City Hall, with many honks from passers-by. When it started to snow and we were all frozen to the core, we headed to a pretty little tea/coffee shop and took some shots down there while drinking warm coffee and hot chocolate.
Alyssa and Chad went their way, and we went to Fargo's as a family plus Chris. Stayed there for a while, ate some delicious pizza. Went home. Got all the pictures off. Chris left to go get his brother. I sat on the Lovesack, and crashed. Nikki and Dad tried to carry me to her room so I could sleep, and I ended up just walking.
I slept straight through the night.
Woke up this morning in awe.
This. Just. Happened.
God is faithful.
If not for last minute plans, Chris wouldn't have been there, and I wouldn't have had ANY room for the after pictures. If not for my small quiet time, I probably would have barfed. If not for Stephanie's encouragement, I wouldn't have had the guts to get in the way of people and take pictures, no matter how in the way I am.
God planned all of this out-small little things that put together to make something grand.
This. Is. Worship.

My home was meant to be behind a camera. And because of God, I was able to capture a moment that will not be repeated. I don't care that I'm not getting paid. I don't care that it's going to take 24 more straight hours to finish them. I don't care that I'll be up all night until I get it done. Because this place-God shows me who He is.
I do not see what I see on my own. I do not capture what I capture on my own. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. Because it is only because of God that I knew what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. He placed people in my life to teach me and to encourage me. The night before, I wrote in my journal, "Free my heart from Satan's lies. Do not let my heart believe the lies. Close my ears, so I do not even HEAR them. For I am a child of you, and all I want to hear is your voice."
God is faithful.


Amberfire said...

I don't know why, but your blogs make me cry - not from sadness, just the power of your words.... I love you and am so proud of you. Always, "Auntie Ams"

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